The Coconut Telegraph

Nothing flies quicker than the STX Coconut Telegraph. Moments after you hear prominent voices whispering, the rumor mill strikes hot. It hits the texts and mobile air waves with the buzz of authenticity. Everyone wants to know the big scoop. And it all sounds so real: Did you hear what so and so said? Can it actually be true about what they’re up to now? But we all know talk is cheap. Or is it? It’s human nature to want to know who’s got the low-down on the inside dope? Who knows what the real skinny is? And yet, as rumor has it… 

Is it true that a couple of F35 Fighter Jet Sub Hunters, that recently buzzed low over the Big Island, have something to do with the Fly Boys hunting for Chinese and Russian Nuclear submarines prowling up north of the USVI; just about the same time Russian warships were pulling into Cuban harbors?

Is it true that one dominant hotel player on the West End of STX, while planning on expanding their fabulous facilities, is strongly entertaining the notion of rolling the dice and adding casino style slot machines to the old hospital building not far from their swanky property?

Is the hush-hush talk correct that certain high flying Senatorial winners almost lost their financial backing in the final weeks of the campaign due to the scandals that recently rocked government departments and caused Commissioner shake-ups?

Is the back room conjecturing correct that a certain beloved long-time Senator lost his re-election bid due in part to the careless, nosy reporting of an online media source that broke a highly derogatory story about his personal business dealings, days before the election, without double-checking the facts and hearing both sides? And is the muffled down n’ dirty talk finding new evidence in the suspicion that this media source, who purports to be fair and objective, had its own electoral agenda?   

Can it be true that, although Kmart East is restocking and shaking off the BK rumors that have been circulating since the demise of Kmart West, a newly-built West Side Mega Mall, across from shuttered Kmart,  scheduled to open a year ago, is growing weeds taller than its yellow brick buildings and may very well be turning into a White Elephant, struggling to stay afloat, even before the doors of a bank and a number of shops and businesses have opened?    

Can it finally be true, as the Big Island has long been awash in rumors, that the long shuttered STX Refinery is gaining a great deal of momentum on a restart now that the Trump victory train is about to take office? Will the iron fist of “The Donald” soften the EPA’s hard line game they have been playing over the past four Biden “fossil fuels be damned” years, and direct a new EPA governing team to ease up on the restrictive regs that have kept the Refinery from opening? If so, is a new economic boom on St. Croix just around the corner?

Can it be true that recent published reports of a VI daily newspaper that is grappling to become a nonprofit and has been unable to pay their rent for years is in jeopardy of being thrown out of their STT digs? Can it leave readers with no other frightening conclusion than that this “STT/BVI/quasi-STX” centric publication must be on shaky financial ground? And after the strange and unapologetic sudden shutdown of another long standing VI daily, can it possibly spell the end of daily print reporting in the USVI forever?  But the real question is: With the lack of “local coverage” these print papers have dished out to USVI residents in recent years, does anybody really care?